The lights rush by,
But I remain still.
I cannot seem to feel
Anything anymore.
My toes are numb.
My eyes unseeing.
Is this bad?
Probably.
Numbness doesn’t raise
Any alarms.
After all, numbness is all
I know now.
People try to get me
To open up – just talk about
The thoughts racing through my mind
Like bullets.
I don’t see the point anymore.
In my experience,
When I finally felt comfortable
To open up to someone
They used my insecurities
Against me.
I am numb,
The remnants of what
Used to be our
Shared reality
Crashing over my head
Sometimes I want to be loved,
But I also do not think I know the differen
Wake up at 5:00AM. Take a shower first thing. Towel dry and then blow dry your hair. Eyeliner, mascara, foundation, and lipstick [in that order]. Pick out a short skirt with a frilly top to match. Put them on. Then choose your tallest high heels, grab your bag, and go to breakfast. You pick at your food and eventually manage half a toast and two bites of eggs. Mother worries about you on a daily basis, you know. She can hear the way you purge every night right after dinner. She knows that you weigh yourself daily. She knows you purposely get off two stops ahead of our house so you can walk the rest of the way. Father worries as well. Yesterda